Winner of the 2009 CPR Award for Outstanding Book

In this groundbreaking book, Bernard Mayer, a pioneer in the field of conflict resolution, offers a new paradigm for dealing with long-term disputes. Mayer explains that when dealing with enduring conflict, mediators and other conflict resolution specialists need to move past the idea of how quickly they can resolve the conflict. Instead, they should focus on how they can help people prepare to engage with an issue over time. Once their attention is directed away from a speedy resolution to a long-term approach, new avenues of intervention become apparent. 

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Praise for Staying with Conflict

"Perhaps the biggest secret of the conflict resolution field is that many conflicts are not ready for resolution—nor need they be resolved. In this wonderfully thought-provoking and practical book, Bernie Mayer shows conflict specialists how to help parties engage constructively with their differences and stay with their conflicts in a productive way. I recommend it!"
—William UrY, coauthor, Getting to Yes and author, The Power of a Positive No

"Once again, Bernie Mayer is two jumps ahead of the field. Staying with Conflict opens up a new way of thinking about our work and is essential reading for any practitioner who suspects the underlying conflict won't be over just because the parties have now signed something."
—Christopher Honeyman, managing partner, CONVENOR, and conflict management editor, The Negotiator's Fieldbook

"Bernie Mayer continues to challenge us to examine some of the fundamental assumptions about the role of conflict resolution professionals. Staying with Conflict offers thoughtful analysis (useful on both the professional and personal levels), provides concrete, accessible examples, and even considers marketing strategies for professionals working with conflict that is unlikely to be resolved. This is a comprehensive and clearly written book and is a must-read for anyone who works with conflict."
—Peter Salem, executive director, Association of Family Conciliation Courts

"Bernie Mayer has written about the right issue at the right time. This book will help practitioners and parties in conflict alike to work seriously and constructively over the long haul."
—Zena Zumeta, JD, Mediation Training and Consultation Institute, and past president, Academy of Family Mediators

"Social justice activists know from experience that perseverance is the key to lasting social change—especially when power imbalances favor the status quo. In Staying with Conflict Bernie Mayer shows how successful social change advocates can harness the tensions of 'creative non-resolution' of conflict to leverage opportunities for favorable and fundamental change."
—Chet Tchozewski, founder and president, Global Greengrants Fund

"In Staying with Conflict, Bernie Mayer helps us rotate to a new perspective as conflict specialists—one that embraces the realities, tensions, and excitements of enduring conflict. This is a well-written, compelling reminder that conflict, like life, is a journey that requires long-term, complex, and reflective understandings of how we build relationships."
—Tricia S. Jones, professor of psychological studies, Temple University, and past editor-in-chief,

Conflict Resolution Quarterly

Preface.

1. A New Direction for the Conflict Field.

2. Conflict and Engagement.

3. Escaping the Avoidance Trap.

4. Working the Conflict Narrative.

5. Communicating in Enduring Conflict.

6. Using Power and Escalation.

7. Agreements in Ongoing Conflict.

8. Taking a Sustainable Approach to Enduring Conflict.

9. Conflict Specialists and Enduring Conflict.

Epilogue: The Dynamic Nature of Enduring Conflict.

References.

About the Author.

Index.